Of course, these given opportunities come with a great deal of responsibility. I have to hit the sales criteria of becoming a trainer every week, something which I am still struggling to do, lest lose everything that I am given. Furthermore, I have to step out of my comfort zone and speak up much more, something that I have NEVER done before in my life.
Im not gonna lie, it is pretty tough.
Every day on field, I will have a mental battle with myself, telling myself that I am going to sign something even if im extremely uncertain of what would happen later on.
It gets even worse one hour before end day end one is still on zero, because you lose much confidence in yourself and the location.
Whenever I see girls my age wearing pretty clothes, laughing and giggling away holding ice cream in their hands, enjoying and relaxing, while I am wearing my badge and holding my pitch card, standing and pitching all day, I get extremely jealous.
I'm 18 going 19, havent even gone to the university, having school holidays with a future of so many possibilities ahead of me. What am I doing here, working so hard, having to deal with such so many rude customers and handle so much stress when it isnt even necessary for me to do so?
Everyone else my age isnt doing this!
(all these thoughts come ESPECIALLY when I cant close any customers for the most part of the day)
But then, I always remind myself of the reason I chose to defer my uni (a choice that is rarely ever made by normal JC students) in the first place:
I guess it's a good thing that im born a Scorpio combined with having a businessman dad. Individuality is extremely important for me, no way am I gonna be like everybody else.
I had been accepted into both SMU and NTU for Social Sciences and Sociology respectively and instead of helping me, they led me away from my goal of promoting in Forte. The fact is, these so-called 'opportunities' that have presented themselves to me are really distractions.
As a result of this acceptance, I became as lost as a ghost for the past one week, with a record score of zero for the whole weeks' sales (something that I havent achieved since my 4th week in the company.)
I dont know if I should take the plunge of rejecting my place in SMU and continue to work in Forte to pursue my dreams or if I should just accept the university place first regardless whether I enjoy what Im studying. Social sciences is honestly not too appealing to me as compared to accountancy or business management. Im probably going to write my appeal to get into business, but if even then Im unable to get what I want, then its probably best if I take a gap year. So confused as to what I should do now. :/
Whatever happens, the things that are going to happen in these two weeks are going to determine my ultimate decision. Should I give up freedom for security or security for freedom? Everything comes with a price.
