Absence

Ah... It has only been a week, and I am already close to going insane from missing you so terribly.

How tempting it is to just pick up the phone, to call you and ask how you've been so far, and to let you know how much I still care.



But I can't. And I won't.



I see you have been doing well, and that's all that matters.



See you around love, I love you. :)

To You It's Separation, To Me It's Waiting

For the past 18 and a half years of my life, I never knew what love was.

Repeated mistakes of falling for guys who never cared for me, then subsequently making guys fall for me only to ditch them after the first date, and even to the point where I could play hanky panky with different guys at the club without giving a shit. I never thought that I would find someone who would love me for who I am.

Then after that, I met you. 

How was I to know that the guy I met 5 months ago would become one of the most important people in my life? I honestly never expected it to be you. You weren't even close to being my type, and there were just so many things I wanted to change about you at that point of time. 

Slowly, over time, you started opening up to me. I learnt a little about who you really are, about those who are important to you. You shared with me your goals and dreams with amazing enthusiasm, and it was my job to help you reach them. Day by day, we grew quite comfortable each other, but even then, I only saw you as a good friend.

Then one day, I sensed that something was wrong. Something happened to you. Whatever could it be? I took you aside to make you talk. It was then you poured out your thoughts, your emotions, your fears to me. You let me see the broken, vulnerable side of the person I initially thought was strong and collected. My heart ached to see it. Was it out of sympathy? Was it out of love? I didn't know.

But since then, we became even closer together. I started opening up to you too, to let you see the side of me that no one else normally would. The level of understanding we had of each other was insane. Emotions took over my logic and I decided to confess. Whoever knew what serious consequences that would bring.





Things were absolutely blissful in that short one week. People say that I have no idea what Love is because I never had a boyfriend before, but you gave me a definition of what it could be and what it is to me.

Love is you holding me tight whenever we meet.
Love is you scolding me for when I do irresponsible stuff like not zipping my bag and always perpetually losing my phone.
Love is telling me that I am beautiful even when I am in my worst most dressed down no makeup state.
Love is listening to my whining without giving me answers.
Love is not touching me at all the whole time during a hangout out of sheer respect for me.
Love is choosing me over your sleep even while knowing how important sleep is for you to gain back your energy.
Love is me being able to be myself around you at all times without having the fear that you will judge me.
Love is letting me pry into your phone even though you are super secretive.
Love is you choosing to be gentle and sweet to me despite having great strength to do otherwise.
Love is you telling me every day how much I mean to you and making me feel so secure and certain that you will never leave me.

Love is you telling me to go home to rest instead of meeting you because you know I would be tired, no matter how badly you want to see me.
Love is choosing to meet me over your friends even though it would strain your relationship with them (which may I add you totally shouldn't be doing)
Love is time passing by WAY too fast when we are together.




If only it could have lasted longer.





Now love, five, even ten years means nothing to me. Now is just not the right time for us to be together. But if we could be patient, do the things we have to do first, eventually, we will find our way back to each other. Don't worry, for these painful times won't last, but I'm very sure we will.


Thank you.

Paying the Price of Security for A Shot at Freedom

So hey guys.... it has been AGES since I last updated my blog. I am still working at Forte Organisation as a salesperson and trainer, and I am still learning as much as when I first started. Although I lost my opportunity of being an IC and a Forte Leader due to too much pressure and stress on myself, but I am now fighting extremely hard for it, and I know that it is coming to me by next week when I transit  to a new campaign.




Anyway for these past few months, those who follow me on Facebook will know that I got two university offers, from SMU social sciences and NTU Sociology respectively.

Then I got faced with the biggest decision I would ever make in my teen life:

Accept the university offer, or give it up to stay in my company to work.




No one really understands why I would give up the university offer to work, but the amount of learning that I am having in Forte is incomparable to whatever school has taught me over the past 18 years. I have learnt how to be fearless in making mistakes, I have learnt how to balance stress, I have learnt communication skills, I have learnt how to be responsible and accountable for my own actions, and I have learnt to keep on constantly improve myself and to keep looking forward. All these, I never learnt in school.

And you can imagine the amount of family and peer rejection that I got when I had the intention of giving up my university offer. My family would hound me very single week when I go out for dinner with them and either scold, cry, beg, reason with me for me to change my mind and go to the university like any other normal 18/19 year old would. Even my long time friend of 18 years kept on calling me to tell me about her own university experiences and what she has overheard from her friends regarding university admissions and all the 'worst-case scenarios' if I were to give up my uni placings.

Initially, I completely disregarded their opinions due to sheer stubbornness, but then their words inevitably made me feel extremely insecure about my decision. My mind was in a really fragile state, and was pushed even further into despair when my sales crashed. What the fuck was the point of me staying in Forte if I couldn't even perform? Even Allison addressed it in front of everyone. She told me that I was determined, but it will be stupid that I stayed if I was only being stubborn (in a harsh tone, she's not one to mince her words). If I were to continue having lousy sales, there wasnt any point in me staying and I might as well go back to the university.



I was in the same 'ai-mai' state for 3 months, and even in 2nd June when I had to accept the university offer, I still couldnt make up my mind. I went to the SMU admission office to speak to the administrator regarding what I should do, and she recommended that I studied first because I was 'extremely lucky to be one of the 2000 people amongst the 14000 applicants to be accepted into the university'. According to her, if I were to own a huge business that were to be eventually publicly listed on the stock exchange, I would need a good university degree so that other people will have a better opinion of me and that I will be deemed as more 'reliable' compared to someone who didnt have a degree.

I then accepted the university offer out of fear, then went directly to Allison the next day.

When I told her I was accepted into social sciences, she burst out laughing. What was I going to do with that degree? There was absolutely no where I could go, and employers such as herself feel turned off even looking at it. She then recommended me to reapply next year and that she would help me get into the course that I wanted, which was SMU's business management course. She never said it directly, but it was as if she was asking me to place my faith in her.



I went home to think for one final time. Who should I trust? Should I listen to Allison, the ambitious woman who is the managing director of an extremely successful sales team, who makes tons of income, and who is so knowledgeable about the ruthless business world at a mere age of 24, or should I listen to the administrator at the SMU admissions office, who sits behind the computer every day, doing the same job of handling all the students' admissions to the school, picking up calls and addressing tiny matters, along with a steady income that never drops nor grows?

It all came down to something that I have learnt over the past few months (not only from my company, but from the NAC 2014 and various inspirational books): The people who I should follow aren't those around me nor below me, but those who are already at where I wish to be. If I listen to the administrator, I would end up exactly like her 10 years down the road. What exactly did she know about BUSINESS if she isn't even owning one herself? She was still having a JOB, and I don't know how satisfying that is for her, but that DEFINITELY isnt for me.

I want to fly with those with big dreams, those who have already made it happen for themselves and those who are always hungry for more. Many people tend to shun and despise rich and successful people, saying that they are that way due to talent, luck etc etc when what they dont know is the amount of effort that these people put in to get to the stage where they are at. Allison happens to be one of these people, and thus I place my trust in her. Of course, my family and friends are the ones who care for me the most, but they aren't at the place where I see myself 10 years down the road. (Some might mistaken my thoughts as looking down on my peers, but that isnt the case.)


So on the 5th of June 2014, I decided to take the leap of faith that no one else would dare take (especially with my shitty A level results) and withdrew my university place so that I can work at Forte.


My sales has started to pick up and I am almost back to my usual standard, and it is only going to get even better, now that there are no more distractions. As Ronnie's team name and tag line goes: Inspiration - Beyond Limitations!, there are no boundaries as to how far I can go, as long as I believe that I can.

With Great Power comes Great Responsibility - Work Experience Part 4

Have been working at Forte for three months now and was lucky enough to be given many opportunities to step up and to lead (even if I dont deserve it).

Of course, these given opportunities come with a great deal of responsibility. I have to hit the sales criteria of becoming a trainer every week, something which I am still struggling to do, lest lose everything that I am given. Furthermore, I have to step out of my comfort zone and speak up much more, something that I have NEVER done before in my life.

Im not gonna lie, it is pretty tough.
Every day on field, I will have a mental battle with myself, telling myself that I am going to sign something even if im extremely uncertain of what would happen later on.
It gets even worse one hour before end day end one is still on zero, because you lose much confidence in yourself and the location.

Whenever I see girls my age wearing pretty clothes, laughing and giggling away holding ice cream in their hands, enjoying and relaxing, while I am wearing my badge and holding my pitch card, standing and pitching all day, I get extremely jealous.
I'm 18 going 19, havent even gone to the university, having school holidays with a future of so many possibilities ahead of me. What am I doing here, working so hard, having to deal with such so many rude customers and handle so much stress when it isnt even necessary for me to do so?
Everyone else my age isnt doing this!
(all these thoughts come ESPECIALLY when I cant close any customers for the most part of the day)



But then, I always remind myself of the reason I chose to defer my uni (a choice that is rarely ever made by normal JC students) in the first place:

I guess it's a good thing that im born a Scorpio combined with having a businessman dad. Individuality is extremely important for me, no way am I gonna be like everybody else.






I had been accepted into both SMU and NTU for Social Sciences and Sociology respectively and instead of helping me, they led me away from my goal of promoting in Forte. The fact is, these so-called 'opportunities' that have presented themselves to me are really distractions.

As a result of this acceptance, I became as lost as a ghost for the past one week, with a record score of zero for the whole weeks' sales (something that I havent achieved since my 4th week in the company.)



I dont know if I should take the plunge of rejecting my place in SMU and continue to work in Forte to pursue my dreams or if I should just accept the university place first regardless whether I enjoy what Im studying. Social sciences is honestly not too appealing to me as compared to accountancy or business management. Im probably going to write my appeal to get into business, but if even then Im unable to get what I want, then its probably best if I take a gap year. So confused as to what I should do now. :/

 Whatever happens, the things that are going to happen in these two weeks are going to determine my ultimate decision. Should I give up freedom for security or security for freedom? Everything comes with a price.

PROMOTION! Team name and Tagline - Work Experience Part 3

Hey guys!

So last week has been a really good week for me, I was on the roll in terms of my sales (of course, with a good amount of help from my seniors) and got sales of $586 for a week, and about $800 plus after hitting top 10% (bonus of 50%!).
This means that I will be promoted to become a corporate trainer (you get promoted fter doing $400 worth of sales in a week), and I get to choose my team name and tag line, and these two will remain with me all the way till I form my own company.

My boss Allison's team name is 'Forte' and her tagline is 'Influential', and thus I am working at Forte now. I am part of Ronnie's team and his team name is 'Inspiration'. cant remember the tagline though oops.


When choosing a team name and tagline, both have to mean something to you. It has to represent something that you truly believe in and that would live with this mission and vision for as long as you build your company for. So before I let my colleagues know about my own team, I'm gonna let you guys take a sneak peek at it ;)





Team Name: OBSIDIAN

- The obsidian is actually a cooled volcanic stone, and it represents resilience and self-control.
- One property of the obsidian is that it apparently draws out all the negativity of a person and brings it to the surface so that the person can confront them and wash them away, cleansing the person.

Why did I choose this name?
- I have a vision for myself and my team to not be afraid of their weaknesses and problems. Instead of running away from them like a coward, all of us will bravely recognise these obstacles and face them head on, thinking up of ways and solutions to beat the negativity and come out renewed and a better person.


Tag Line: CHANGE FOR THE BETTER

-Through the past 18 years of my life, one of the most important things I realised about life is that it is always changing. From the climate, to developing technology, to fashion trends, people you meet everyday and even your own likes and dislikes, it never stays the same for long.
-Since we cant stop the world from developing, what we can do in turn would be to transform ourselves and adapt quickly to suit our circumstances. We will not only be better prepared for the challenges the world might throw at us but also become a newly improved version of ourselves.
- Change is difficult, but it is something that everyone is capable of. Many of us would prefer to stay in our comfort zone and not budge and inch because they feel right at home, but change will definitely bring all of us further in life. The most important thing to me is that I am not the same person I was yesterday.





If you were to have your own company, what would your goals, mission and vision be? :)

Bastard Customers and Salesperson POV / Finding My Own Drive - Work Experience Part 2

Hey guys!

It has been two weeks since I have worked for Forte and I have been enjoying every single minute of it (although I admit, it really sucks when you do zero sales for the whole week).

Ever since I stepped foot into the company, I have been learning new things every single day, under the watchful eye of each and everyone of my seniors, especially my dear trainer who has become like a second mother to me (haha). All of them are really wise and experienced, giving sound advice, encouragement and guidance whenever I needed it, and never once complained that I was a burden (which I felt like every time I got help).

I have become surprisingly comfortable with the people there despite most of them being in their 20s/30s. The closer ones are definitely from the team I was put under, especially Sing Xuan, Yi En and Ronnie. All of them treat me like a friend and not just a younger inexperienced colleague. Sing Xuan would never fail to check up on me every single day, sending me texts and buying me food. No one else has ever done that for me before, so I am extremely touched. Soon Yong is also one of them, he becomes my temporary trainer whenever SX is not around. (It's really interesting to see his dual personality in work and casual situations. Very good training style as well.)

The work environment is simply amazing. Where in other places you would find a typical drab and serious one (or so from what I have heard), One Organisation has a really vibrant and enthusiastic vibe which reminds me a lot of ACJC. Everyone is willing to care and share, and the work hard play hard mentality is really prominent here as well. Of course, it is not all about fun and games, there are expectations to meet and targets to hit which arent easy at all, so everyone pushes themselves really hard whenever on field. However, when it comes to partying, boy do we party. It gets PRETTY wild.




Anyway, thats just a tiny peek at my work life. Now, getting on to the main point I wanted to drive at today, which is HOW CUSTOMERS TREAT AND SHOULD TREAT SALES PEOPLE.

I have come to realise why so many people keep telling others that everyone should work in sales at least once, and here is why: If you don't, you will never understand what we go through and as a result, treat them as less than human.

Even if I have only worked as a sales person for two weeks, the number of FUCKED UP customers I have met so far is enough to drive anyone up the wall.



A few examples to illustrate my point:

(control) A normal customer - no no no I dont need / no thanks no thanks / bu yong la bu yong la

A friendly customer - Answers your questions politely and remain friendly with you, eg. oh I already have that / well yeah actually I have no intention to change coz I dont need it currently / thank you / you have a great day too

The know-it-all cutomer  - Compares all the telcom markets in Singapore from Singtel to Starhub to M1 to MyRepublic and gives you a thousand and one reasons why they should buy from our competitors, eg. wah you know Starhub offers this and this and this so Singtel really cannot compete one / MyRepublic offers up to 1GB speed you know and its so cheap! You Singtel people yadda yadda yadda

The arrogant customer (similar to know it all but yet different) - Thinks that she knows the market of telecomm services so much better than we do, eg. 'You guys are selling to the wrong market! Why sell the product to people who already have it? This is Singapore. And you guys are at the wrong place, look at the nudity that is being portrayed on the screen!' 

The guailan customer - They purposely come up with some wisecrack in order to counter your pitch and think they are extremely hillarious. eg. oh sorry I got no home la / I dont like SingTel (her husband later told me that they are using it while stalking off) / oh Starhub Starhub (when I ask whether they are using SingTel or Starhub) / !@#$%^&* (some foreign language that I dont understand that I am very sure are pretty insulting remarks since they are accompanied with a guffaw) 

The Rude Customer - Those customers who are annoyed by us (I understand) and treat us like dogs (I dont understand), eg. 'I already told you Im not interested. How many times do I have to tell you, HUH? Your colleague already approach me just now. I AM NOT INTERESTED'

Most of these people obviously are completely ignorant of the fact that we sales people are actually human beings with feelings too. We are working so hard to earn our commission, and we are always extremely polite, so I really dont see why we dont deserve any respect.

Does it really take much to just reject our approach nicely? Of course we may be slightly persistent, we were trained to do so, but if we see that you are really disinterested, we would leave you alone. 

Just imagine people talked to you the same way. How would you feel? I would personally feel like breaking the person's dick, but because all of us have an image to upkeep so as to not ruin the rest of the company's reputation, we exercise amazing self-control and suck up whatever shit thrown at us. 

To the younger kids - I understand you guys are not at the age to understand what we are going through. Just wait till a few years later when you find a job, you guys are gonna get the exact same bullshit that we are currently getting. Hopefully you learn something out of it. 

To the arrogant bitches - You think you know everything? okay, you can go talk to SingTel's CEO and direct ALL your complaints and suggestions to him. We are just agents, we cant really help you much. 

To the uncles and aunties - You guys are old, I shall close one eye.

So please guys, whenever you meet a sales person next time, just be friendly. Even if they are persistent, just firmly say no but give them a smile. It makes a huge difference than being rude. However, it is also a good learning process when facing rejection and these kinds of customers so often, because my people skills (and tolerance level) have gone up a lot more since I first started, learning how to deal with different kinds of people every day.

So this week will be my third week in the company, I am hoping to gun down my promotion ASAP and help Ronnie promote to team manager by end of March. But first, I have to get my basics right first or I would never progress (like SY said sternly).

 Jaden taught me something really meaningful (and TBH I was really surprised at his wisdom because he didnt seem like the type to ask me that kinda thing), which was to find my own reason why I want to promote. If I dont have my own reason and just feel like promoting based on what people tell me, I would never find the drive to do well myself. It resonated with me quite a bit, because I didnt have any particular reason of wanting to promote except to help SX and Ronnie with their own promotions.

I realised that I am more inclined to work hard for other people than to help myself, so Jaden suggested that I might be wanting to train and guide other people, so I could use that as a motivation.

I hope I will talk to Allison more this week, so that I can gain more insight from her (not that I havent been gaining enough from my seniors already, but of course its always good to learn more).

Are we really happy? - Work Experience part 1

I just posted up a status on Facebook which said 'New life goal: be a millionare by the time im 35'.

It's unbelieveable, the amount of skepticism that I get when I make that statement. People dont even need to tell me what they are thinking, I already know it. They are all thinking the same thing: That is practically impossible. You? Millionare? We are just slaves for the system, how far do you really think we can go?

But really, just how many people actually believe that they are going to succeed in life?



Before elaborating on my point any further, just gonna share my current work experience which has taught me so much and led me to wanna blog about the topic. (There are going to be 3-4 parts to this, there is too much to write about)

I got kinda tired of my old (still on) job, which is as slack as heck, and wanted to find a new job so that I can gain much more experience. I went to google job searches and happened to find a position of management trainee that a company called Forte Organisation was hiring. The job sounded pretty okay to me, and I honestly wasnt expecting much out of it because of the not-too-good experience at my previous job, so then decided to sign up for it.

Heck, it was the best decision I ever made.

Immediately within two hours when I submitted my resume, I got a call from the company asking for an interview the next day. Imagine the level of efficiency that the company has. Unbelieveable. Then on the day of the interview, I met the lady who has made the largest impact on me in my life so far since the first week I started work: My [temporary] boss, Allison.

The first impression I had of her was: wow, she is so gorgeous and so YOUNG. How the heck did she get up there so fast, and look barely older than my seniors?

During the interview, she kept emphasising on how young I was, and knowing that I didnt know what I really signed myself up for, she started explaining the job scope to me from the start. My heart started to sink when I heard what the job really consisted of. From doing sales, progressing on to training, then finally managing your own company, my first reaction was like 'holy shit, what the fuck did I get myself into?'

Allison then continued to ask if I was planning to continue to the university, which I said yes to (of course I have to get a basic degree), then proceeded to explain that she didnt think that it would be worth it to invest in me because I wasnt going to be staying for very long. I totally understood her POV, any employer would have thought the same way. Besides, I had absolutely ZERO experience in sales and business management, and comparing to my colleagues who were graduates and working people, I wasnt exactly the best person to hire for the company.

When I was already expecting a 'Thank you very much it was so nice meeting you bye bye', she suddenly dropped an offer, which was to put me on probation for 2 weeks to see if I was really worth investing in. I initially didnt know what the heck she was talking about, and when she said 'so I would see you tomorrow at 8 down here' I went 'um whut' (she was speaking a little fast and I was also bombarded with a lot of information which I was a slow in absorbing)

So basically I was offered the most gorgeous of an opportunity for an 18 year old: work amongst people much more experienced than you, of all different age groups and who were very, very good at what they do - closing sales. At that point of time, it didnt really matter whether Allison wanted to keep me or not at the end of two weeks, all I needed was the experience and to learn as much as possible along the way.

So then began my journey in Forte Organisation.




Stay tuned for part 2, this would definitely be a series that I would finish documenting.

Mid-Jan already..... (?!) - Career Options, Life Decisions

Just a short update....

I cant believe it is mid-Jan already, WHERE THE FUCK DID THE FIRST HALF GO?

lol anyway, I have been really into educating myself lately with books, videos and work to prepare myself for the real world. 

The more I read into business and entrepreneurship the more colourful and exciting it gets.

I told Miss Leong I was reconsidering my career options as 'it' was too difficult. I think she thought that I meant business, but what I really meant was fashion marketing and design. The past month has really opened my eyes up to many new possibilities regarding my future, and quite frankly, I think the fashion business now is wayy too saturated for my liking. Every girl out there thinks they have what it takes to succeed, and they are probably right because they TRY. (unlike me who hasnt done anything yet)

The thing that I realised about successful entrepreneurs is that they come up with things that have never been thought of before, ie. virtually no competition there. The only people they are competing with is themselves. This is the road that I believe I want to take 10 years down the road, not struggling to stay afloat with probably 100,000 other blogshops trying to make it big. 

Ecommerce is reaching a stagnating point despite its ever-growing revenue, and it is time to find the gaps and opportunities that I can seize now in order to ensure long term success.

Right now, I have so many ideas that I want to bring to life, but I have virtually no resources nor knowledge, which is why getting into the business course for me is so important. 

I just had a sudden revelation today as to how important technology is going to be in the next few decades, which lead me to suddenly want to pursue a major in information systems or electrical/computer engineering. Crazy I know, not to mention my disinterest in it for the past 18 years (that was dedicated to pursuing the arts). However, I now think that getting myself equipped with technological know-how will be extremely useful in the years to come. 

Im even reconsidering what school I want to get into. Initially it was NTU (and still is dont get me wrong, especially if its the business course), but NUS offers double majors which is really appealing to me. Specialising in only one degree would be too drying for me, and quite frankly wouldnt get me anywhere in the real world. Business, engineering, sociology, communications, information systems..... they are all very closely interrelated, despite how so many people want to enclose them in boxes. 

Decisions, decisions.....

 All of these might sound really nerdy but hey you would find it really insightful as well once you read into it. I for one started on this out of curiosity and also perhaps due to an overdose of the 'high' life. Too much indulgence is not really a good thing. Another factor is that I have met people who are so fucking intelligent and talented and basically have everything in the world and that got my competitive spirit up a great deal.

On a side note, I have decided to pick up journal writing again (the dear diary shit) because this blog is getting really public. Some things are just not meant to be shared with others and it wouldnt reflect very well of me either. Well, a journal is a good thing I guess, it improves my writing skills and also allows me to deeper reflect on my experiences. 

I will still be updating my blog, but it'll be on more superficial stuff like outings or some great insight that I have gained and want to share with everyone to make the world a better place (lol).

So what have you all been up to lately? Those who have school, all the best to you! Those who are working, lets go hang sometime yeah? ;) till then~

Siloso Beach Party 2013 and It's Adventures (update)

This Siloso Beach Party was the virgin clubbing experience for the other two and the first party countdown together for all of us. Veronica was supposed to join us but couldnt at the last minute due to personal reasons :( (MISS U RONNIE) However, the show must go on, so we went ahead with the party.

There were a HELL LOT of strange experiences that I went through there (not all unpleasant though) that I will elaborate upon later in the post, but first things first........ the journey to the party.

I actually won two free passes to the countdown but I had already purchased the tickets much earlier on, so I had three tickets to sell. Surprisingly, there were tons of people who still wanted the tickets. Once I placed adverts on the various social media, my phone started getting bombarded with orders. Cutting the long story short, I managed to sell them for $160 altogether, which aint too bad.

The girls and I then made our way to the venue......

Camwhoring on the train.

We reached the place at about 6 plus which was FREAKING early considering the countdown was at about 11 something, but that was due to ticketing issues and buyer related matters. We entertained ourselves instead by walking around the venue to see what was available.

It was really a waste for only one of the five stages (the main one) to be filled, im sure the organisers put in a lot of effort setting up all of them.

When we entered, we saw a temporary tattoo booth and since it was going to be new year, we thought we might as well just YOLO and get one. This is the one that I decided to get: 

Bad Girl

Since I had already lost half of my dignity dressing in this manner, might as well just lose a little more.

Besides, I have always wanted to feel a little badass so this probably satisfied that craving. 

Yee Hwa's rose tattoo.

It actually cost 10 dollars to do hers but the shopkeepers were nice enough to let her do it at 5!

Same story for Yue Ning. Sigh, such nice people.

(but they are really smart, doing such a lucrative business there...) 

We then headed toward the main stage...
The beach was about 1.2km long and we three walked back and forth about 5-6 times. Lotsa workout there.

The entrance to the main stage! 

Girls on stilts! The costumes are gorgeous 

The glow sticks we got from doing a survey. We each got a different primary colour, I got yellow.

(which happened to match my outfit) 

The resolution board!

 And my personal resolution :)

Having a lot of fun in the bubbles!

Each ticketholder was entitled to a free drink, either a Carlsberg or a coke.

Guess who got the coke? (it isnt me) 

Yue Ning and I doing the love shot <3 

...... and Yee Hwa nonchalantly sipping her coke 

Since it was relatively early and hardly anybody was at the dance floor, we went to lepak by the chairs near the food booths.

 The glowsticks lighted up!

We only hit the dancefloor at about 9pm. At that time, DJ Funky T took over and he pumped up the atmosphere by leaps and bounds.

 My hands blocking LOL

It was tiring to jump around all night so we went to the couches at the wavehouse to conserve our energy before the countdown before going back at 11.40.

ITS TAKING ME HIGHER 

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014!!!!!!!!!

Treated to a fireworks display! ^.^

Okay, so the weird experiences happened AFTER the countdown.

Firstly, everyone was happily jumping and dancing to the music, slightly high on alcohol. People all around wished us Happy New Year and we reciprocated.

For some reason, quite a number people in front were trying to leave the dancefloor after the countdown, one of them who happened to be a drunk ang moh. He grabbed my waist and pressed me against the red-haired dude behind me (who wished me happy new year and who looked a bit like Noah Yap lol) then screamed: ARE YOU TWO TOGETHER? We both shook our heads vigorously but he completely ignored us and said: KISS HER KISS HER. NO KISS HIM KISS HIM. 

I was at a loss of what to do and didnt want to give in to his request, but his snaky hands were already sliding down my waist and was gonna reach some inappropriate area so I quickly gave the dude a smack on the cheek. Well I guess its ok because its only the cheek. But I was wearing red lipstick and left a huge mark on his face and was so fucking embarrassed after that, made even worse with his friends teasing him. 

AND IT WAS MY FIRST TIME KISSING A GUY (albeit not on the mouth)

The red-haired guy apologised to me after that and I apologised to him as well. But we made acquaintances after that and when he went forward nearer to the stage he beckoned me and the girls to join him and his friends. Which was nice. And he was sweet.

Then an even WEIRDER incident happened after that. (note: all this happened in a little less than 1 and a half hours) I was already quite interested with making acquaintances with the red-haired guy, but all of a sudden a tall and cute dude came up to me and said 'Hey there, nice to meet you. Is it your first time here?'

Then somehow he managed to whisk me into this long conversation and in the process snaked his hands around me, my shoulders and then my waist. I kinda knew what was happening but I didnt stop it because I wanted to see what would happen next. It was really flattering and pretty exhilarating, and it totally helped that he had a handsome face and perfect-teeth smile. (Furthermore, he was topless. Which made it all the more distracting) For the record he was only two years older than I was so yeah. No age gap thing going on there.

His smooth way of talking and the fact that he knew EXACTLY what to say and how to act already SCREAMED 'PLAYER' in my face. He shared with me a bit of information of himself and I realised that not only was he a good looking player, but also extremely (like, really) intelligent. What kind of guy was he? I was really fascinated. If it were anyone else I wouldnt have been as ready to accept the invitation but then I decided to play along into his game.

He later managed to convince me to get drinks with him and I did, but not before making arrangements with the other two to meet at 2 (in case I got drugged). He paid for my drinks (rich) and played five-ten with me in order to get me to drink and get drunk. Thank goodness I managed to play on par and we drank equally if not I would have to down 4 cups of idkwhatthefuckismixedintothecoke drink. It was nice of him to ask for more coke to lower the strength of the alcohol tho.

I said to him during the game: 'Don't you think I should be at least a bit suspicious of you?'

Then he looked at me and replied with: 'Do I look like the kind who would do anything?'

When I told him it was precisely the fact that he didnt look like the type that I should be extra careful, but he brushed it off and said I was too guarded. 

Later on, he held my hand and brought me to meet his friends, who were a darn hillarious bunch of people. One friend's first greeting to him was 'Eh...... FUCK YOU CHEE BAI 2014 GO AND DIE LA' and I wanted to burst out laughing because that was such a typical bro greeting. 

I observed the girls who were with his friends and they all look wasted. One of his friends offered ice (to sober up apparently) to all the girls. One of the girls took the ice, inspected it closely and flung it away, all done in an absoultely drunk manner. The guy holding her glanced at me and I glanced back at him, and we both knew what happened and giggled. But her behaviour got me thinking: how could she act like that? No matter how drunk you are, it aint a pretty sight to show your boyfriend, or anyone for that matter.

I had a suspicion that all these girls were also picked up at the dancefloor just like I was but maybe they were the dude's friends as well. Who knows.

One thing that I noticed, he was extremely protective of me the whole time, with his arm around me and made sure that no drunk people came near me. Very nice of him, but the player signs were made even more obvious.

Later, I made my way with him to the dancefloor with his friends, then things got rather....... steamy. He stood behind me and put his hands around my waist and then somehow we were grinding against each other. I could feel his body pressed against mine and it was so foreign. I had always dreamed of having a guy embracing me like that but it was nothing compared to the real thing. I let my body relax and leaned against him and he put his mouth at my neck and continued bumping to the music.

He played with my hair and slipped both of his hands into mine. The only problem was that the stupid light stick I was carrying was blocking the way. He then proceeded to very sensually undo the ribbon of the light stick, made a necklace out if it and put it around his friends neck (HAHA) then proceeded to slip his hands into mine again. 

It'll be a lie if I said I didnt have any clue what to do. I went with my gut here, my scorpio instincts were on fire. (Not gonna elaborate any further on this and its gonna be up to your imagination) We stayed that way for a long time, and it was really comfortable. The only point where I uncomfortable was when he slid his hands down my waist near down there where it was EXTREMELY ticklish and inappropriate. I was a bit afraid and wanted to laugh at the same time (the irony) but it would have totally destroyed the atmosphere so I motioned him to get his hands up. He responded by turning me around and gave me a full on hug (while still dancing).

[Of course, that action wasnt because his feelings grew, but because he didnt want me to see what he was texting. I kept looking at his phone and watch discreetly when I could because I had to keep track of the time.] 

He wanted me to stay throughout the night with him and tried to convince me to do so. Initially I wanted to stay but since the other two were depending on me and my parents for a ride home, I decided against it. I told him (at 2 o clock sharp, i think he was surprised that I kept the time so well without a watch nor phone) that I needed to find the other two. He volunteered to follow me to the place and so we made our way to the lockers where the girls were waiting.

Halfway through the walk, he asked: 'Why leave so early? didnt you enjoy the music? (I think thats what he said, I couldnt hear properly)' then I told him I enjoyed the music a lot. He responded with a laugh and a baffled look. Then all of a sudden he acted alpha male with me and took my chin very gently but firmly and stared into my eyes and said,'would you stay?'

His eyes were so serious that I gave a slight giggle while looking at the floor, stunned and not knowing what to say. I had NO IDEA that he wanted to kiss me until he did it. Thank GOD not on my lips (right beside it instead), or I would have lost my first kiss to a player.

However, I didnt react to it even though I liked it. I had to stay firm, otherwise who knows what other stuff might happen. And no matter how much I enjoyed myself I couldnt go that far with a one-time fling. He sensed that I wasnt into it since I didnt budge at all, and my face remained stone-cold. I think he was disappointed, but said, 'alright I will walk you there' and started holding my hand again. I felt really bad but no way was he gonna have me there. Itll just be like 'oh yay I scored another one' kinda thing, you know?

He asked for my number and left me with his, asked me for one last time whether there was any possibility that I was going back to the dance floor, then left to go find his friends. 

To the guy if you ever read this (although I dont think you will): I had an amazing time with you, and thank you so much for giving me such a wonderful memory. Sorry for being so socially awkward and not being able to have a proper conversation because I have no idea what to say, and also for being so suspicious half the time. And please dont mind me rejecting some of your advances, its only for the best. 

For a guy who has everything in the world [ie. good looks, brains, money, slick personality. Yes he proved that he had all of these things in a short two hours] and could get any girl he wants, he is the type a girl should stay the furthest away from.

He reminds me a lot of this guy

I'm starting to see why players choose to act the way they do.

That momentary kick of pleasure that you get with the other person gets you so high, and whats even better is that you wont have to have any feelings attached. Once you are done, its on to the next one.

Why choose to bother with falling in love when all it brings is pain and suffering? Being a player is so much easier.

I will no longer bother with things like love and romance anymore for now, and just choose to enjoy company as it is. Until the day.......

But it isnt now.

Anyway, even though he said he would message me again, I highly doubt he would because well, itll be unfair for me to stereotype him but I guess all players are the same. At the very least, I got to have such an experience with one and thankfully, no harm came to me, and I had a lot of fun. Definitely a great way to begin my 2014. :)

That being said, I later found out that I ruined the first two hours for YN and YH because they were so damn worried about me and tried to find me. (oops) Thanks for the love guys, I feel it!!

So how did you guys spend your New Year's Eve?

Happy New Year 2014 everybody! <3










Update:

Saw him again at Mink. Cant believe it........ I think im starting to grow fond of him even though we only met twice.

but no. both of us were with other people that night, and apparently those from that school still have a really strong discrimination against those from mine. I knew he was a player and after that night he probably thought I was one too. only in it for one thing, doesnt matter who it is.

Im starting to wonder if its really worth it to play around like that. Of course, clubbing has its many benefits like meeting new friends and getting high but ultimately, it isnt the kind of atmosphere that I want to be surrounded in.

Yesterday's experience was probably enough for me for the rest of the year, still not feeling so good from all the alcohol.

wtf am i doing with my life. -.-