Today must be the shittiest day of 2013 that I have had so far. All negative emotions came crashing upon me at once and it is not at all pleasant to experience.
Why is it that the person who's smile and laugh that I loved and appreciated so much, along with his amazing friends, suddenly reflect the sneers and sniggers of the people who made my life miserable in the past? Maybe it's my fault that he treats me this way, because now that I think about it, I have been acting in the exact same way to him, but the only difference is mine was out of joy and fear. Liking someone who treats you this way is really painful. It happened to me before, but I guess my heart will never learn.
How I wish I had a longer attention span. Or at least have the ability to bullshit my way through things. What happened during class today was just outright humiliating. I just gave everyone the impression that I was some mute dumbass who is awful at her work. OF COURSE no one would like anybody who is a dumb and plain person with no particular special quality whatsoever.
What I used to look forward to so eagerly in the past, I now dread.
My terms results are wayyyyyyyy far from ideal. I mean, 29/100 isnt justifiable,even if its a music paper. 17/55 for econs even though I studied like heck for it isnt very encouraging either. It just makes me question myself: What the fuck are you doing?
It is time to prioritize properly, since what had shone the path for me has dimmed considerably.
