It's All Coming Back.

Sigh.

I wonder why these kinds of people even exist in the world.
I also wonder why there are others who will so readily believe such kinds of people.
The dream I had just two weeks ago portrayed what is happening to me right now
(only that reality isnt as vivd).
Some are being taken away from me so quickly, its quite scary.
My friends. Or at least, whom I thought were my friends.


Who do I trust?
Whose smiles are real?
These questions keep running through my head.
What ifs, what ifs.


I guess no matter how you behave, there are still gonna be detractors there to pull you down.
Quote Dita: You can be the ripest and juiciest peach in the world, but there is still someone out there who hates peaches.
I may be far from being an ideal peach but i give in my all.



Still, even in this situation I have the most amazing people to pull me out of misery.
Those who still trust in me.
Those who know me.
Those who care.
Ever grateful to them because they are the ones who matter.




Seriously, what is wrong with you?
To the point where you have to go around doing this kind of thing?
Well, it's okay if you do, just to let you know that you aren't any better.
Why dont you just stay as a fake prude like you always were?
Karma is a bitch, and I hope it works its magic on you soon.

And to those who believe in what you say,
I'm disappointed.
That's all.

Yeah, you.

2013, here I come.

Now that we have survived the apparent apocalypse, we have a whole new year to look forward to.

2013 will be a really big year for me. It is the year of my A levels, another prom year, and a whole other year of hell / fun depending on how i choose to spend my time.

Before talking about the new year, let's have a mini-reflection on the year 2012.



2012 was an unexpectedly good year for me.

I was thrown into a completely different environment when I first changed schools. I didnt expect much from anyone nor anything, and was planning to stay super low profile for the 2 years that I have in AC. However, after getting integrated into the school culture (which is super awesome), I found myself having many more friends and had a lot more fun than I have had in many years.  Many ex-teachers and friends of mine have commented that I seem to be a lot brighter and happier now.

Mind you, JC1 life was not easy. The transition of workload from secondary 4 to JC 1 was really rocky for me, since I wasnt that used to the new school system, and the amount of work just generally doubled from the previous year. Constant stress from fierce madams also put me in a spot many times. However, this time, I had people to rely on, so my life was made much easier. Thanks to those who always guide me along for my school work!




Now that it is 2013, I am expecting my workload to be about one and a half times more than in JC1. I'm also really worried about my music practicals because I have kind of lost my passion for classical music in general, and seeing my peers doing so much better than me doesnt really help either. Having to incorporate practice into my daily schedule would be super hard.

Another thing that I am worried about is my social life in school. I wonder if everything will stay the same as last year. If it were to be that way, or get better, then I would have nothing to worry about. Just a little jittery....... (I had a super bad dream where my whole social life was destroyed by a single rumour spread by an ah lian. Woke up crying really badly. Just shows how easy good things can be taken away from you.)

Ultimately, I hope that I can do well for every single upcoming exam that I have and hopefully scrape my way through all the way to the end, and get a really good result for my A levels. That is the number one priority, after all, if I do not get the grades then I will not get the choice of university that I want.


New year means new resolutions, so once again, here they are:

1. Hand in all homework on time.
- This is always not perfectly fulfilled, so imma try my best this year to do it.

2. Reach 55 kg by next year.
- Includes gym regimens, diets etc etc. I guess this is the only way that I am ever gonna feel better about myself. (I felt stunning when I lost 5 kg in 2 mSetonths last year)

3. Practise my instruments for at least an hour every day.
- this is the exact same kind of resolution as the first one.

4. Celebrate my sisters' birthdays.
- Even with such a busy schedule, I'm hoping I can celebrate every single one of their birthdays, just because I ought to. Friendship takes effort, and I'm gonna put it in.

5. Get many (if not all) As for all my subjects for A levels.
- Call me mad but I really hope I can achieve this.

6. Set up a blogshop by the end of next year.
- I have already made preparations but it has been put on hiatus due to my A levels (lol As are screwing up my life)

7. Finish reading all my new books.
- I bought SO many books from the popular fair, it's so crazy. They were REALLY cheap, like 1-3 dollars for every book. The titles that I bought are really useful for me so I hope I can find the time to read them.

8.  Constantly update a gratitude journal.
- I think this will make me a lot happier even during crappy days. Gonna dig out one of my awesome TYPO notebooks....

9. Go to a club.
- I cannot WAIT to go to one and observe the night life there. I think for me, it's not about the actual clubbing but more of  'studying' the place (for now), like the F&B, fashion, lighting, architecture and music. There is so much to learn.

10. Get into my dream university.
- SMU business or NTU mass communications, LETS GO!




This is just a very brief recap of my resolutions, I'm sure I will have more as the year passes, but for now its these 10.

Let's all hope that 2013 would be a great year for everybody! Peace~