To You It's Separation, To Me It's Waiting

For the past 18 and a half years of my life, I never knew what love was.

Repeated mistakes of falling for guys who never cared for me, then subsequently making guys fall for me only to ditch them after the first date, and even to the point where I could play hanky panky with different guys at the club without giving a shit. I never thought that I would find someone who would love me for who I am.

Then after that, I met you. 

How was I to know that the guy I met 5 months ago would become one of the most important people in my life? I honestly never expected it to be you. You weren't even close to being my type, and there were just so many things I wanted to change about you at that point of time. 

Slowly, over time, you started opening up to me. I learnt a little about who you really are, about those who are important to you. You shared with me your goals and dreams with amazing enthusiasm, and it was my job to help you reach them. Day by day, we grew quite comfortable each other, but even then, I only saw you as a good friend.

Then one day, I sensed that something was wrong. Something happened to you. Whatever could it be? I took you aside to make you talk. It was then you poured out your thoughts, your emotions, your fears to me. You let me see the broken, vulnerable side of the person I initially thought was strong and collected. My heart ached to see it. Was it out of sympathy? Was it out of love? I didn't know.

But since then, we became even closer together. I started opening up to you too, to let you see the side of me that no one else normally would. The level of understanding we had of each other was insane. Emotions took over my logic and I decided to confess. Whoever knew what serious consequences that would bring.





Things were absolutely blissful in that short one week. People say that I have no idea what Love is because I never had a boyfriend before, but you gave me a definition of what it could be and what it is to me.

Love is you holding me tight whenever we meet.
Love is you scolding me for when I do irresponsible stuff like not zipping my bag and always perpetually losing my phone.
Love is telling me that I am beautiful even when I am in my worst most dressed down no makeup state.
Love is listening to my whining without giving me answers.
Love is not touching me at all the whole time during a hangout out of sheer respect for me.
Love is choosing me over your sleep even while knowing how important sleep is for you to gain back your energy.
Love is me being able to be myself around you at all times without having the fear that you will judge me.
Love is letting me pry into your phone even though you are super secretive.
Love is you choosing to be gentle and sweet to me despite having great strength to do otherwise.
Love is you telling me every day how much I mean to you and making me feel so secure and certain that you will never leave me.

Love is you telling me to go home to rest instead of meeting you because you know I would be tired, no matter how badly you want to see me.
Love is choosing to meet me over your friends even though it would strain your relationship with them (which may I add you totally shouldn't be doing)
Love is time passing by WAY too fast when we are together.




If only it could have lasted longer.





Now love, five, even ten years means nothing to me. Now is just not the right time for us to be together. But if we could be patient, do the things we have to do first, eventually, we will find our way back to each other. Don't worry, for these painful times won't last, but I'm very sure we will.


Thank you.