Hey everybody, I'm back again!
So friends who i have already met up with know that after my last venture in my previous company, I have decided to run my own business full time, and I have decided to run an online gift basket business because startup is RELATIVELY low as compared to other businesses, and also it is a pretty niche market in Singapore currently.
I'm gonna be recording down my experiences trying to start up my own business with no degree nor prior experience, I think blogging will keep me disciplined in tracking my progress and perhaps inspire other aspiring entrepreneurs to take the same leap. :D
So here goes...
Week 1 -
I'm quite blur about what is required to start this business. I am not very willing to open myself up to ask for help either which I KNOW is my weakness..... Ill just try to do everything on my own for now. Even though my dad is running is own business, but the nature of his business differs so much from the type of business that I want to do, and he's very busy anyway so I wouldnt want to rely on him too much. Of course, I do learn from him from the sidelines watching how business dealings take place, the transactions and the (shitload of) paperwork that needs to be done and its really interesting. One key thing I have learnt from watching him? Trust wisely, and dont be too ready to reveal anything. It had stuck with me till this day.
Bought a "How to Start and Run Your Own Business for Dummies" book with the gift voucher I received for Christmas and trying to follow it. It is easy to read but challenging to understand and apply. Have been in and out of office with a dazed look on my face like someone just punched me because of all that reading. I may be dummer than a dummy for now but IM GONNA PERSEVERE THROUGH THIS.
Have already decided on my business name, logo and branding. Now I need to sort up my finances and complete my business plan. Really wish I could just forget about all the finance shit and just run free but if I do that I just know that both me and my business would die a few years later as a consequence.
Have planned a sourcing trip to the Great Land of China with my Dad in March, and another holiday to New York in end April with my mum. The best time about running your own business is having the freedom to do whatever you want at your own calling. No one is going to nag at you for taking too many trips, or scold you for being a prick, or nitpick at every thing you try to do, which is awesome. But you need a lot of discipline to follow through. You answer to no one but yourself. Then eventually your customers. And your employees. And your investors. That's a story for the near future :D
Have been considering to take up a few things:
1. Driving lessons
- My dad is blind in one eye, so my mum does most of the chauffeuring. Itll help the family a lot if I knew how to drive so yup gonna take it up.
2. Volunteering with Little Heroes Dreams
- It is one of my lifelong goals to help kids in need, because I think every kid deserves the opportunity to make choices as to what they wish to become no matter what background they came from. It is also a very good self-reminder as to appreciate what I currently have, other kids arent as fortunate,
3. Get a public speaking certificate
- I love watching Ted videos and watching those really great speakers deliver powerful messages and inspire those who listen. I think public speaking is one of the most important skills anyone should cultivate, it will boost your confidence by leaps and bounds, and more importantly, able to increase your power of influence over people.
4. Get a DEGREE
- well, after 2 years of fighting with my loved ones about whether getting a degree is important, Im starting to think that well it actually IS very important in order to get a good paying starting job. Even if I'm terribly against the idea of a 9-5 deskbound job, but the money accumulated at the beginning stages of my work is essential in sustaining the cashflow of my startup. Also, the people that I get to mix around with during my classes and camps are invaluable sources of networks that I get to build, and eventually key in building my business.
- Now, instead of wanting to pursue a business degree, I'm thinking of whether I should take either a degree in either computer science, design or communications. Would the teachers allow me to take all? Haha. I wish man.
Going to rest now. Toodles~
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
Saturday, January 2, 2016
Past Reflections
Hey everyone (who still reads my blog), I'm back after a very long time.
Haven't gotten the chance to craft out a piece of writing to express my feelings and lessons learnt in awhile, and since it's the new year, I think it's the perfect time for me to do so. Should continue making this a habit in 2016, I can practise my writing skills and have a constant review about what's happening in my life.
I officially left Forte after 1 year 10 months. It was a bittersweet but necessary decision.
I have been promoting my company to all my loved ones like it's the best thing in this world, and refused to hear any other opinions of it. I respected my leaders a great deal and was very proud of the culture that was built within the Organisation. Till now, I still am.
It seemed as if I would craft out my whole career there. What was there to lose anyway? The talks of eventually getting the chance to run my own business after getting promoted through the system seemed promising. Also, the willing guidance given by all the owners would be very hard to find anywhere else.
Everything was going fine at first. I was earning very well, got myself promoted and gave me a lot of confidence that I could do the job. I knew it wasn't something that I would be willing to do in the long run, but since I was doing well, why not? Better to gain on-field experience compared to doing essay after essay in school all all over again. I felt like I could do anything, and was very ready to experience any challenge that came my way. However things just wasn't meant to be.
The disillusionment came when the opportunity to do a new campaign, Dominos Pizza came up. Personally, I hated that campaign to the core, because I personally didn't have anyone in my family who ate pizza, and I never ever believed in food coupons. Like who the fuck would buy that kind of shit? The in-store and online promotions were WAY better than the ones on hyphen coupon, and it just didn't feel right with my values.
When I made my feelings known, I was badly criticized for it. I was called selfish, because the rest of the team wanted to move. And that I was too comfortable in my current campaign, and that I was afraid of challenges. My leader is an extremely powerful figure, and I believed every single word that she said about me. So I believed her, and took up the challenge., even if I was still against it.
Long story short, the whole teams income was cut by more than 3 times, results were shit, except for one or two people who truly believed in the product. Things weren't made any easier by the expectations placed on us and the daily reminder that 'we weren't doing well enough'.
My team crashed when we moved into Fast Wax. Everyone had to eat grass because no one was earning. We repeated the same mistake that we did before when we transited campaigns by dumping everyone into it without proper training nor guidance. Perhaps it was due to our arrogance, that we thought that our way was best and that we didn't need to learn from anyone else. At that point of time, it was pretty much one of the lowest points during my time in Forte. My confidence was at an all time low. I almost hated myself. The worst part was having to still put a smile on my face when meeting everyone while doing things that I personally didn't believe in. It was fake, and quite frankly, so painful. However, I still believed that things would get better. Little did I know I was driving myself insane by doing things that was making myself miserable.
This affected my relationships too. I was jumpy at my parents for making only a slight comment about my work. Screaming matches were the norm. I was constantly fighting with my boyfriend and kept insulting him for his ideals. The final straw came when my boyfriend and I had a huge fight and I crossed the line by saying extremely hurtful things. He ended up not talking to me nor replying my texts for the next few days.
I went into full recluse mode. I shut out all opinions from my family and my colleagues alike, and had a period of self-reflection. I have gathered different perspectives, now it was time for myself to make my own decision as to what I think would be best for me. Why was I always so jumpy at my loved ones? We're they really trying to put me down? Or was I just afraid of the truth behind their words? Were my leaders words REALLY the only way to do things? Was I staying because I really wanted to do this or just doing it out of fear that I would fail in life if I were to give up on this career? Because that was exactly how it seemed and how I felt. That was how blinded I was.
Thus, I decided to leave, after 3 whole months of contemplation. I have made very poor decisions, but it didn't come without truly valuable lessons that I learnt, which I would like to share:
1. Trust your intuition
- always trust your gut feeling. When you don't feel right about something, investigate, then act on it. Intuition is not some magic from thin air that tells you the future, but an instinct created based on past experiences. It is a very useful sense for our ancestors back in the day when they were trying to survive.
2. Don't put anyone on a pedestal.
- we all have people that we admire. Whether they are really influential people or our idols. However, we have to remember that they are humans, and they have their weaknesses just like all of us. It is dangerous when we put people on a pedestal because we are tempted to do their beck and call even if it isn't actually the best way for ourselves. Also, if we realize that they too have flaws, we would be extremely disappointed. Decision making becomes emotional, irrational because of our feelings of attachment to the people we respect. This is all self-inflicted, because it isn't the other party's fault.
3. Happiness isn't about sacrificing yourself for others, but about sharing your happiness with others.
- my previous company has always emphasized on give more than you take, about always giving more to others even when it doesn't benefit you. Until now, I still find that the most meaningful lesson that I've been taught but the hardest to apply. However, I got that concept wrong for quite awhile. I thought that giving more than I took meant that I had to sacrifice my own happiness in order for people to be happy. Not only did this backfire but it also made the people around me miserable as well. The black aura all around isn't very pretty.
- I realized that in order to help others sincerely, we shouldn't be deprived of anything ourselves first. It's like saying we are in debt and yet want to help the poor. It doesn't make sense. We need to help ourselves first before we have the ability to spread the joy to others. Only then would it be a 100% genuine.
4. No one has the right to make you feel shitty about yourself.
- NO ONE. Not your family, not your partner, not your friends, not your mentor. Feeling shitty doesn't mean setting expectations or telling you your flaws so you can improve, but putting you down, saying things like 'I don't think you are capable enough' or 'I don't see you as a leader' or labeling you to be one type of person. If it gets that bad, then perhaps they aren't the right people that you should have in your life.
5. Follow your heart
- don't let the fear of failure stop you from what you truly wish to do. Many people don't dare to take that leap of faith, and thus stuck with a job that they are miserable with, a relationship that they aren't happy in etc, and that's the root cause of their misery.
That being said, I am nevertheless extremely grateful for all the guidance and opportunities that Forte has given me through this period of time. Even if I'm not working there anymore, but the friendships that I have made would be hard to break.
Now, I am enjoying my time a lot more, having time to workout, meet my friends, spend time with my family and just chill out with a book. I'm in the process of starting up my online store, which was something that I truly wanted to do since the beginning. Let the true sprit of entrepreneurship shine!
Stay tuned for more updates. ;)
See you loves,
Theodora
Haven't gotten the chance to craft out a piece of writing to express my feelings and lessons learnt in awhile, and since it's the new year, I think it's the perfect time for me to do so. Should continue making this a habit in 2016, I can practise my writing skills and have a constant review about what's happening in my life.
I officially left Forte after 1 year 10 months. It was a bittersweet but necessary decision.
I have been promoting my company to all my loved ones like it's the best thing in this world, and refused to hear any other opinions of it. I respected my leaders a great deal and was very proud of the culture that was built within the Organisation. Till now, I still am.
It seemed as if I would craft out my whole career there. What was there to lose anyway? The talks of eventually getting the chance to run my own business after getting promoted through the system seemed promising. Also, the willing guidance given by all the owners would be very hard to find anywhere else.
Everything was going fine at first. I was earning very well, got myself promoted and gave me a lot of confidence that I could do the job. I knew it wasn't something that I would be willing to do in the long run, but since I was doing well, why not? Better to gain on-field experience compared to doing essay after essay in school all all over again. I felt like I could do anything, and was very ready to experience any challenge that came my way. However things just wasn't meant to be.
The disillusionment came when the opportunity to do a new campaign, Dominos Pizza came up. Personally, I hated that campaign to the core, because I personally didn't have anyone in my family who ate pizza, and I never ever believed in food coupons. Like who the fuck would buy that kind of shit? The in-store and online promotions were WAY better than the ones on hyphen coupon, and it just didn't feel right with my values.
When I made my feelings known, I was badly criticized for it. I was called selfish, because the rest of the team wanted to move. And that I was too comfortable in my current campaign, and that I was afraid of challenges. My leader is an extremely powerful figure, and I believed every single word that she said about me. So I believed her, and took up the challenge., even if I was still against it.
Long story short, the whole teams income was cut by more than 3 times, results were shit, except for one or two people who truly believed in the product. Things weren't made any easier by the expectations placed on us and the daily reminder that 'we weren't doing well enough'.
My team crashed when we moved into Fast Wax. Everyone had to eat grass because no one was earning. We repeated the same mistake that we did before when we transited campaigns by dumping everyone into it without proper training nor guidance. Perhaps it was due to our arrogance, that we thought that our way was best and that we didn't need to learn from anyone else. At that point of time, it was pretty much one of the lowest points during my time in Forte. My confidence was at an all time low. I almost hated myself. The worst part was having to still put a smile on my face when meeting everyone while doing things that I personally didn't believe in. It was fake, and quite frankly, so painful. However, I still believed that things would get better. Little did I know I was driving myself insane by doing things that was making myself miserable.
This affected my relationships too. I was jumpy at my parents for making only a slight comment about my work. Screaming matches were the norm. I was constantly fighting with my boyfriend and kept insulting him for his ideals. The final straw came when my boyfriend and I had a huge fight and I crossed the line by saying extremely hurtful things. He ended up not talking to me nor replying my texts for the next few days.
I went into full recluse mode. I shut out all opinions from my family and my colleagues alike, and had a period of self-reflection. I have gathered different perspectives, now it was time for myself to make my own decision as to what I think would be best for me. Why was I always so jumpy at my loved ones? We're they really trying to put me down? Or was I just afraid of the truth behind their words? Were my leaders words REALLY the only way to do things? Was I staying because I really wanted to do this or just doing it out of fear that I would fail in life if I were to give up on this career? Because that was exactly how it seemed and how I felt. That was how blinded I was.
Thus, I decided to leave, after 3 whole months of contemplation. I have made very poor decisions, but it didn't come without truly valuable lessons that I learnt, which I would like to share:
1. Trust your intuition
- always trust your gut feeling. When you don't feel right about something, investigate, then act on it. Intuition is not some magic from thin air that tells you the future, but an instinct created based on past experiences. It is a very useful sense for our ancestors back in the day when they were trying to survive.
2. Don't put anyone on a pedestal.
- we all have people that we admire. Whether they are really influential people or our idols. However, we have to remember that they are humans, and they have their weaknesses just like all of us. It is dangerous when we put people on a pedestal because we are tempted to do their beck and call even if it isn't actually the best way for ourselves. Also, if we realize that they too have flaws, we would be extremely disappointed. Decision making becomes emotional, irrational because of our feelings of attachment to the people we respect. This is all self-inflicted, because it isn't the other party's fault.
3. Happiness isn't about sacrificing yourself for others, but about sharing your happiness with others.
- my previous company has always emphasized on give more than you take, about always giving more to others even when it doesn't benefit you. Until now, I still find that the most meaningful lesson that I've been taught but the hardest to apply. However, I got that concept wrong for quite awhile. I thought that giving more than I took meant that I had to sacrifice my own happiness in order for people to be happy. Not only did this backfire but it also made the people around me miserable as well. The black aura all around isn't very pretty.
- I realized that in order to help others sincerely, we shouldn't be deprived of anything ourselves first. It's like saying we are in debt and yet want to help the poor. It doesn't make sense. We need to help ourselves first before we have the ability to spread the joy to others. Only then would it be a 100% genuine.
4. No one has the right to make you feel shitty about yourself.
- NO ONE. Not your family, not your partner, not your friends, not your mentor. Feeling shitty doesn't mean setting expectations or telling you your flaws so you can improve, but putting you down, saying things like 'I don't think you are capable enough' or 'I don't see you as a leader' or labeling you to be one type of person. If it gets that bad, then perhaps they aren't the right people that you should have in your life.
5. Follow your heart
- don't let the fear of failure stop you from what you truly wish to do. Many people don't dare to take that leap of faith, and thus stuck with a job that they are miserable with, a relationship that they aren't happy in etc, and that's the root cause of their misery.
That being said, I am nevertheless extremely grateful for all the guidance and opportunities that Forte has given me through this period of time. Even if I'm not working there anymore, but the friendships that I have made would be hard to break.
Now, I am enjoying my time a lot more, having time to workout, meet my friends, spend time with my family and just chill out with a book. I'm in the process of starting up my online store, which was something that I truly wanted to do since the beginning. Let the true sprit of entrepreneurship shine!
Stay tuned for more updates. ;)
See you loves,
Theodora
Thursday, February 19, 2015
My Precious Valentine
So, on the 14th of February, 2015, it was my first ever Valentines Day that I had the chance to spend with someone who treasures me as much as I treasure him (perhaps even more).
I have mentioned in previous posts briefly about how we got together and the slightly complicated situations we encountered before we could really be together. But now, everything is fine and dandy, so everything is going great so far.
For Valentines, we decided to just do normal couple stuff like go to town to eat and watch a movie, because we didnt really get a chance to that previously. Since it was a pretty simple date, I will just let the pictures speak for itself.
I have mentioned in previous posts briefly about how we got together and the slightly complicated situations we encountered before we could really be together. But now, everything is fine and dandy, so everything is going great so far.
For Valentines, we decided to just do normal couple stuff like go to town to eat and watch a movie, because we didnt really get a chance to that previously. Since it was a pretty simple date, I will just let the pictures speak for itself.
Selfie during bus ride :D
Went to Marche for lunch because all the other places was as crowded as f
He had a rosti with smoked salmon....
....While I had mushroom crepes with minced beef.
(I only ate one half and made him finish the other. First reason is because im becoming totally fat and second is he can eat a lot. And when I say a lot, take me seriously.)
Haven't seen him look so happy in so long <3
(these shots were candid by the way)
After lunch, we wanted to catch "The Kingsmen" which was supposed to be really funny, but because it was Vday, all the tickets were almost fully booked. Both of us felt really lazy to walk as well so we just decided to chill somewhere nearby.
We went to the Roof Gardens at the top of Orchard Central, and I didnt realise until he reminded me that it was the exact same place where we had our last date before we had to break up pretty painfully. And there we were again, as happy and strong as ever.
Marche happened to hand out roses to lady patrons so I got one.
Made him hold it in his mouth coz it was funny >:)
And of course more selfies:
- So much bliss, so much love -
Later on, we headed off for reunion dinner with his family and friends. It was super nerve-wrecking for me but luckily he and his mum are always really accomodating and took care of me really well.
Headed off to KTV after that, was a really interesting experience considering im like a really western girl who only appreciate clubs and english bars previously. Learnt how to play dice (LIKE FINALLY) in 10 minutes which is gonna be really useful next time when I go drinking and gambling. Thanks love.
To many happy days ahead of us and treasuring every single moment that we are together <3
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
First Stage Cleared
Hi everyone! How's everyone doing?
Cant believe it is already FEBRUARY of 2015. Where the heck has January gone??
The 23rd of January 2015 marked my one-year anniversary being in Forte and Appco, and I have gotten myself promoted to become a team leader officially, managing a team of 3.
It has been quite a journey to get myself to this stage, definitely not easy but so very fulfilling. I look back at the decision I made in June of taking the leap of faith in giving up my place in the university to make it work here, and I am so glad I did.
At the start, people around me left and right, whether it is my family, or my friends in Uni, or even strangers I talk to by the road, have ALL been pushing me to go back to University.
'It's not SAFE without a degree' they said.
'We are saying this for your own good' they said.
No matter, what matters to me right now is that I am extremely happy doing what im doing as of now and proud to see the tremendous improvement I have made in myself since I joined. And as of now, I really can't see myself doing anything else, ESPECIALLY not writing essay after essay, facing school politics, having to constantly compare myself to the popular / pretty / talented kids and still trying to figure out why the fuck I took a course that I know I am going to regret anyway.
People say I have no idea what I am missing out in Uni, like the environment, the last time I am able to have fun and hang out with people my age, the network that I will gain, learning different things etc etc. Erm, no, I was fully aware of what I was missing out.
What do you think I felt when I first gave up my place?
I had absolutely no reason to stay in Forte nor Appco. My sales was shit, I didn't have a team, no one really bothered about me because I didnt have results. The most obvious choice was just to give it up and just go back to school, JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.
But that statement is the very thing that made me hold on to Forte.
Right from the start, I never really fit in to any clique in school, because I was fat, didnt really think the way everyone else thought, didnt enjoy the things they enjoyed, had a really headstrong personality with low tolerance for things I didnt like. I had already made the mistake once of listening to my parents of 'what would be the best for me', which was taking triple science, which I ended up regretting so fucking horribly. Never am I going to make the same mistake again, and I was finally in a place where I didnt have to try to be cool or do what everyone else was doing in order to 'fit in'. The rules were simple: You perform, you get the opportunity.
With a clear mind, a little bit of time and a tremendous amount of self-belief, I worked my way up to become one of the top salespeople in the company and having a team of 3. However, despite my super fast improvement and being ready to gun for the promotion, I wasnt emotionally nor mentally ready. I was still very young, I didnt have much experiences of taking failure / challenges, and I made a heck of a big hooha by falling in love with someone I shouldnt have.
Even though Allie keeps saying that it was a mistake I should never have made, but I am very sorry to say that it wasnt a mistake to me, and I dont regret the decision at all. It was just a good learning experience and I would take it as a normal obstacle I have to face on my journey towards becoming a stronger person. But the most important thing out of that whole saga was I finally found a very important person, someone almost or if not equally important to me as my family. That relationship, that love that I have is so rare, and I know if I let go of it, I would have regretted it so terribly. But I'm glad I held on, and now things are definitely looking up.
Then after that, I met up with one of the managers for a learning session, and the person (unintentionally, mind you) completely crashed my confidence, and made me have a low period for quite a long while. But through that experience, I finally know how people who have down times feel, and not only did I learn how to manage myself better, but I also understood people much more as well.
Even during the down times, all I told myself was: It's okay that other people are flying right now, because that wont last. If I keep pushing on, my turn will definitely come.
And it came.
First came Ronnie's AM promotion, then hitting the bulletin for one month straight, then having two coreleaders who trust me the most, even compared to others, and having a very sincere and equally headstrong mentor (whom I now know personally as a friend haha) to guide me in every step of the way, then my promotion. Things are definitely looking up.
The question is, what can I do even more to get myself to the next stage? I need constant improvement, learning and developing myself and put in double the effort. Stage 2: Team Manager, here I come. ;)
Cant believe it is already FEBRUARY of 2015. Where the heck has January gone??
The 23rd of January 2015 marked my one-year anniversary being in Forte and Appco, and I have gotten myself promoted to become a team leader officially, managing a team of 3.
It has been quite a journey to get myself to this stage, definitely not easy but so very fulfilling. I look back at the decision I made in June of taking the leap of faith in giving up my place in the university to make it work here, and I am so glad I did.
At the start, people around me left and right, whether it is my family, or my friends in Uni, or even strangers I talk to by the road, have ALL been pushing me to go back to University.
'It's not SAFE without a degree' they said.
'We are saying this for your own good' they said.
No matter, what matters to me right now is that I am extremely happy doing what im doing as of now and proud to see the tremendous improvement I have made in myself since I joined. And as of now, I really can't see myself doing anything else, ESPECIALLY not writing essay after essay, facing school politics, having to constantly compare myself to the popular / pretty / talented kids and still trying to figure out why the fuck I took a course that I know I am going to regret anyway.
People say I have no idea what I am missing out in Uni, like the environment, the last time I am able to have fun and hang out with people my age, the network that I will gain, learning different things etc etc. Erm, no, I was fully aware of what I was missing out.
What do you think I felt when I first gave up my place?
I had absolutely no reason to stay in Forte nor Appco. My sales was shit, I didn't have a team, no one really bothered about me because I didnt have results. The most obvious choice was just to give it up and just go back to school, JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.
But that statement is the very thing that made me hold on to Forte.
Right from the start, I never really fit in to any clique in school, because I was fat, didnt really think the way everyone else thought, didnt enjoy the things they enjoyed, had a really headstrong personality with low tolerance for things I didnt like. I had already made the mistake once of listening to my parents of 'what would be the best for me', which was taking triple science, which I ended up regretting so fucking horribly. Never am I going to make the same mistake again, and I was finally in a place where I didnt have to try to be cool or do what everyone else was doing in order to 'fit in'. The rules were simple: You perform, you get the opportunity.
With a clear mind, a little bit of time and a tremendous amount of self-belief, I worked my way up to become one of the top salespeople in the company and having a team of 3. However, despite my super fast improvement and being ready to gun for the promotion, I wasnt emotionally nor mentally ready. I was still very young, I didnt have much experiences of taking failure / challenges, and I made a heck of a big hooha by falling in love with someone I shouldnt have.
Even though Allie keeps saying that it was a mistake I should never have made, but I am very sorry to say that it wasnt a mistake to me, and I dont regret the decision at all. It was just a good learning experience and I would take it as a normal obstacle I have to face on my journey towards becoming a stronger person. But the most important thing out of that whole saga was I finally found a very important person, someone almost or if not equally important to me as my family. That relationship, that love that I have is so rare, and I know if I let go of it, I would have regretted it so terribly. But I'm glad I held on, and now things are definitely looking up.
Then after that, I met up with one of the managers for a learning session, and the person (unintentionally, mind you) completely crashed my confidence, and made me have a low period for quite a long while. But through that experience, I finally know how people who have down times feel, and not only did I learn how to manage myself better, but I also understood people much more as well.
Even during the down times, all I told myself was: It's okay that other people are flying right now, because that wont last. If I keep pushing on, my turn will definitely come.
And it came.
First came Ronnie's AM promotion, then hitting the bulletin for one month straight, then having two coreleaders who trust me the most, even compared to others, and having a very sincere and equally headstrong mentor (whom I now know personally as a friend haha) to guide me in every step of the way, then my promotion. Things are definitely looking up.
The question is, what can I do even more to get myself to the next stage? I need constant improvement, learning and developing myself and put in double the effort. Stage 2: Team Manager, here I come. ;)
Saturday, December 6, 2014
Absence
Ah... It has only been a week, and I am already close to going insane from missing you so terribly.
How tempting it is to just pick up the phone, to call you and ask how you've been so far, and to let you know how much I still care.
But I can't. And I won't.
I see you have been doing well, and that's all that matters.
See you around love, I love you. :)
How tempting it is to just pick up the phone, to call you and ask how you've been so far, and to let you know how much I still care.
But I can't. And I won't.
I see you have been doing well, and that's all that matters.
See you around love, I love you. :)
Monday, October 20, 2014
To You It's Separation, To Me It's Waiting
For the past 18 and a half years of my life, I never knew what love was.
Then one day, I sensed that something was wrong. Something happened to you. Whatever could it be? I took you aside to make you talk. It was then you poured out your thoughts, your emotions, your fears to me. You let me see the broken, vulnerable side of the person I initially thought was strong and collected. My heart ached to see it. Was it out of sympathy? Was it out of love? I didn't know.
But since then, we became even closer together. I started opening up to you too, to let you see the side of me that no one else normally would. The level of understanding we had of each other was insane. Emotions took over my logic and I decided to confess. Whoever knew what serious consequences that would bring.
Things were absolutely blissful in that short one week. People say that I have no idea what Love is because I never had a boyfriend before, but you gave me a definition of what it could be and what it is to me.
Love is you holding me tight whenever we meet.
Love is you scolding me for when I do irresponsible stuff like not zipping my bag and always perpetually losing my phone.
Love is telling me that I am beautiful even when I am in my worst most dressed down no makeup state.
Love is listening to my whining without giving me answers.
Love is not touching me at all the whole time during a hangout out of sheer respect for me.
Love is choosing me over your sleep even while knowing how important sleep is for you to gain back your energy.
Love is me being able to be myself around you at all times without having the fear that you will judge me.
Love is letting me pry into your phone even though you are super secretive.
Love is you choosing to be gentle and sweet to me despite having great strength to do otherwise.
Love is you telling me every day how much I mean to you and making me feel so secure and certain that you will never leave me.
Repeated mistakes of falling for guys who never cared for me, then subsequently making guys fall for me only to ditch them after the first date, and even to the point where I could play hanky panky with different guys at the club without giving a shit. I never thought that I would find someone who would love me for who I am.
Then after that, I met you.
How was I to know that the guy I met 5 months ago would become one of the most important people in my life? I honestly never expected it to be you. You weren't even close to being my type, and there were just so many things I wanted to change about you at that point of time.
Slowly, over time, you started opening up to me. I learnt a little about who you really are, about those who are important to you. You shared with me your goals and dreams with amazing enthusiasm, and it was my job to help you reach them. Day by day, we grew quite comfortable each other, but even then, I only saw you as a good friend.
Then one day, I sensed that something was wrong. Something happened to you. Whatever could it be? I took you aside to make you talk. It was then you poured out your thoughts, your emotions, your fears to me. You let me see the broken, vulnerable side of the person I initially thought was strong and collected. My heart ached to see it. Was it out of sympathy? Was it out of love? I didn't know.
But since then, we became even closer together. I started opening up to you too, to let you see the side of me that no one else normally would. The level of understanding we had of each other was insane. Emotions took over my logic and I decided to confess. Whoever knew what serious consequences that would bring.
Things were absolutely blissful in that short one week. People say that I have no idea what Love is because I never had a boyfriend before, but you gave me a definition of what it could be and what it is to me.
Love is you holding me tight whenever we meet.
Love is you scolding me for when I do irresponsible stuff like not zipping my bag and always perpetually losing my phone.
Love is telling me that I am beautiful even when I am in my worst most dressed down no makeup state.
Love is listening to my whining without giving me answers.
Love is not touching me at all the whole time during a hangout out of sheer respect for me.
Love is choosing me over your sleep even while knowing how important sleep is for you to gain back your energy.
Love is me being able to be myself around you at all times without having the fear that you will judge me.
Love is letting me pry into your phone even though you are super secretive.
Love is you choosing to be gentle and sweet to me despite having great strength to do otherwise.
Love is you telling me every day how much I mean to you and making me feel so secure and certain that you will never leave me.
Love is you telling me to go home to rest instead of meeting you because you know I would be tired, no matter how badly you want to see me.
Love is choosing to meet me over your friends even though it would strain your relationship with them (which may I add you totally shouldn't be doing)
Love is time passing by WAY too fast when we are together.
If only it could have lasted longer.
Now love, five, even ten years means nothing to me. Now is just not the right time for us to be together. But if we could be patient, do the things we have to do first, eventually, we will find our way back to each other. Don't worry, for these painful times won't last, but I'm very sure we will.
Thank you.
Love is choosing to meet me over your friends even though it would strain your relationship with them (which may I add you totally shouldn't be doing)
Love is time passing by WAY too fast when we are together.
If only it could have lasted longer.
Now love, five, even ten years means nothing to me. Now is just not the right time for us to be together. But if we could be patient, do the things we have to do first, eventually, we will find our way back to each other. Don't worry, for these painful times won't last, but I'm very sure we will.
Thank you.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Paying the Price of Security for A Shot at Freedom
So hey guys.... it has been AGES since I last updated my blog. I am still working at Forte Organisation as a salesperson and trainer, and I am still learning as much as when I first started. Although I lost my opportunity of being an IC and a Forte Leader due to too much pressure and stress on myself, but I am now fighting extremely hard for it, and I know that it is coming to me by next week when I transit to a new campaign.
Anyway for these past few months, those who follow me on Facebook will know that I got two university offers, from SMU social sciences and NTU Sociology respectively.
Then I got faced with the biggest decision I would ever make in my teen life:
Accept the university offer, or give it up to stay in my company to work.
No one really understands why I would give up the university offer to work, but the amount of learning that I am having in Forte is incomparable to whatever school has taught me over the past 18 years. I have learnt how to be fearless in making mistakes, I have learnt how to balance stress, I have learnt communication skills, I have learnt how to be responsible and accountable for my own actions, and I have learnt to keep on constantly improve myself and to keep looking forward. All these, I never learnt in school.
And you can imagine the amount of family and peer rejection that I got when I had the intention of giving up my university offer. My family would hound me very single week when I go out for dinner with them and either scold, cry, beg, reason with me for me to change my mind and go to the university like any other normal 18/19 year old would. Even my long time friend of 18 years kept on calling me to tell me about her own university experiences and what she has overheard from her friends regarding university admissions and all the 'worst-case scenarios' if I were to give up my uni placings.
Initially, I completely disregarded their opinions due to sheer stubbornness, but then their words inevitably made me feel extremely insecure about my decision. My mind was in a really fragile state, and was pushed even further into despair when my sales crashed. What the fuck was the point of me staying in Forte if I couldn't even perform? Even Allison addressed it in front of everyone. She told me that I was determined, but it will be stupid that I stayed if I was only being stubborn (in a harsh tone, she's not one to mince her words). If I were to continue having lousy sales, there wasnt any point in me staying and I might as well go back to the university.
I was in the same 'ai-mai' state for 3 months, and even in 2nd June when I had to accept the university offer, I still couldnt make up my mind. I went to the SMU admission office to speak to the administrator regarding what I should do, and she recommended that I studied first because I was 'extremely lucky to be one of the 2000 people amongst the 14000 applicants to be accepted into the university'. According to her, if I were to own a huge business that were to be eventually publicly listed on the stock exchange, I would need a good university degree so that other people will have a better opinion of me and that I will be deemed as more 'reliable' compared to someone who didnt have a degree.
I then accepted the university offer out of fear, then went directly to Allison the next day.
When I told her I was accepted into social sciences, she burst out laughing. What was I going to do with that degree? There was absolutely no where I could go, and employers such as herself feel turned off even looking at it. She then recommended me to reapply next year and that she would help me get into the course that I wanted, which was SMU's business management course. She never said it directly, but it was as if she was asking me to place my faith in her.
I went home to think for one final time. Who should I trust? Should I listen to Allison, the ambitious woman who is the managing director of an extremely successful sales team, who makes tons of income, and who is so knowledgeable about the ruthless business world at a mere age of 24, or should I listen to the administrator at the SMU admissions office, who sits behind the computer every day, doing the same job of handling all the students' admissions to the school, picking up calls and addressing tiny matters, along with a steady income that never drops nor grows?
It all came down to something that I have learnt over the past few months (not only from my company, but from the NAC 2014 and various inspirational books): The people who I should follow aren't those around me nor below me, but those who are already at where I wish to be. If I listen to the administrator, I would end up exactly like her 10 years down the road. What exactly did she know about BUSINESS if she isn't even owning one herself? She was still having a JOB, and I don't know how satisfying that is for her, but that DEFINITELY isnt for me.
I want to fly with those with big dreams, those who have already made it happen for themselves and those who are always hungry for more. Many people tend to shun and despise rich and successful people, saying that they are that way due to talent, luck etc etc when what they dont know is the amount of effort that these people put in to get to the stage where they are at. Allison happens to be one of these people, and thus I place my trust in her. Of course, my family and friends are the ones who care for me the most, but they aren't at the place where I see myself 10 years down the road. (Some might mistaken my thoughts as looking down on my peers, but that isnt the case.)
So on the 5th of June 2014, I decided to take the leap of faith that no one else would dare take (especially with my shitty A level results) and withdrew my university place so that I can work at Forte.
My sales has started to pick up and I am almost back to my usual standard, and it is only going to get even better, now that there are no more distractions. As Ronnie's team name and tag line goes: Inspiration - Beyond Limitations!, there are no boundaries as to how far I can go, as long as I believe that I can.
Anyway for these past few months, those who follow me on Facebook will know that I got two university offers, from SMU social sciences and NTU Sociology respectively.
Then I got faced with the biggest decision I would ever make in my teen life:
Accept the university offer, or give it up to stay in my company to work.
No one really understands why I would give up the university offer to work, but the amount of learning that I am having in Forte is incomparable to whatever school has taught me over the past 18 years. I have learnt how to be fearless in making mistakes, I have learnt how to balance stress, I have learnt communication skills, I have learnt how to be responsible and accountable for my own actions, and I have learnt to keep on constantly improve myself and to keep looking forward. All these, I never learnt in school.
And you can imagine the amount of family and peer rejection that I got when I had the intention of giving up my university offer. My family would hound me very single week when I go out for dinner with them and either scold, cry, beg, reason with me for me to change my mind and go to the university like any other normal 18/19 year old would. Even my long time friend of 18 years kept on calling me to tell me about her own university experiences and what she has overheard from her friends regarding university admissions and all the 'worst-case scenarios' if I were to give up my uni placings.
Initially, I completely disregarded their opinions due to sheer stubbornness, but then their words inevitably made me feel extremely insecure about my decision. My mind was in a really fragile state, and was pushed even further into despair when my sales crashed. What the fuck was the point of me staying in Forte if I couldn't even perform? Even Allison addressed it in front of everyone. She told me that I was determined, but it will be stupid that I stayed if I was only being stubborn (in a harsh tone, she's not one to mince her words). If I were to continue having lousy sales, there wasnt any point in me staying and I might as well go back to the university.
I was in the same 'ai-mai' state for 3 months, and even in 2nd June when I had to accept the university offer, I still couldnt make up my mind. I went to the SMU admission office to speak to the administrator regarding what I should do, and she recommended that I studied first because I was 'extremely lucky to be one of the 2000 people amongst the 14000 applicants to be accepted into the university'. According to her, if I were to own a huge business that were to be eventually publicly listed on the stock exchange, I would need a good university degree so that other people will have a better opinion of me and that I will be deemed as more 'reliable' compared to someone who didnt have a degree.
I then accepted the university offer out of fear, then went directly to Allison the next day.
When I told her I was accepted into social sciences, she burst out laughing. What was I going to do with that degree? There was absolutely no where I could go, and employers such as herself feel turned off even looking at it. She then recommended me to reapply next year and that she would help me get into the course that I wanted, which was SMU's business management course. She never said it directly, but it was as if she was asking me to place my faith in her.
I went home to think for one final time. Who should I trust? Should I listen to Allison, the ambitious woman who is the managing director of an extremely successful sales team, who makes tons of income, and who is so knowledgeable about the ruthless business world at a mere age of 24, or should I listen to the administrator at the SMU admissions office, who sits behind the computer every day, doing the same job of handling all the students' admissions to the school, picking up calls and addressing tiny matters, along with a steady income that never drops nor grows?
It all came down to something that I have learnt over the past few months (not only from my company, but from the NAC 2014 and various inspirational books): The people who I should follow aren't those around me nor below me, but those who are already at where I wish to be. If I listen to the administrator, I would end up exactly like her 10 years down the road. What exactly did she know about BUSINESS if she isn't even owning one herself? She was still having a JOB, and I don't know how satisfying that is for her, but that DEFINITELY isnt for me.
I want to fly with those with big dreams, those who have already made it happen for themselves and those who are always hungry for more. Many people tend to shun and despise rich and successful people, saying that they are that way due to talent, luck etc etc when what they dont know is the amount of effort that these people put in to get to the stage where they are at. Allison happens to be one of these people, and thus I place my trust in her. Of course, my family and friends are the ones who care for me the most, but they aren't at the place where I see myself 10 years down the road. (Some might mistaken my thoughts as looking down on my peers, but that isnt the case.)
So on the 5th of June 2014, I decided to take the leap of faith that no one else would dare take (especially with my shitty A level results) and withdrew my university place so that I can work at Forte.
My sales has started to pick up and I am almost back to my usual standard, and it is only going to get even better, now that there are no more distractions. As Ronnie's team name and tag line goes: Inspiration - Beyond Limitations!, there are no boundaries as to how far I can go, as long as I believe that I can.
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